WHAT IF -most of my natural inclination and perspectives about sex are misguided. What if - a lot of what I thought to be true and “right” is just wrong? What if many things I “know” are really deception and error. Do I really know, embrace and practice what God has said when it comes to sex? Do I view sex as commitment building or sex as a way of building a relationship or fostering a good relationship. Do I view sex as a sport?
What if we return to the Biblical perspective? Sex was intended to be between one man and one woman in the confines of a marriage. Sex is not how you introduce yourself to another person. Meaning the physical should not proceed the spiritual, mental, and emotional in getting to know a man or a woman. I am afraid that many today are deceived in this area. Our way of thinking has been tainted by worldly philosophy and contaminated by world system of lustful desires.
I want to examine sex from a biblical perspective under these three headings: What we know and understand from the biblical record regarding sex, what we should embrace, and what we should practice.
What I know and understand from scripture.
Man and woman were created perfect by God to be monogamous – one partner for life – and to be a family. However before Adam knew his wife, He knew his God. He knew his God loved him. He knew his God's laws and commandments. He had a relationship with his God prior to a relationship with his wife. He was complete in God, emotionally secure and spiritually aware of his creator. Then, the scriptures tell us that there was not a comparable helper to be found for Adam, thus the creation of Eve. Eve's creation is necessitated by two points: First, in order to fulfill the cultural mandate given in Genesis 1:28, they must be both male and female with the ability to procreate. Secondly, Adam is not able to serve and obey God properly without a corresponding, horizontal relationship. Eve was to be a partner, not a substitute for God or the things of God, to help Adam worship God fully. She was not created to be a sexual object, but rather a partner in the glorification of God through the carrying out of the cultural mandate.
This is very important because it illustrates the intent of God for both the man and woman. When we as men consider a woman, it should be with this understanding. Without this understanding one can be easily led away to all manner of perverted philosophies and doctrines. If we allow ourselves to venture off into fantasies that are in conflict with God's intent We are in sin. This does not mean sex is bad, but rather, it is gift to be enjoyed by two people in a marriage. When it comes to sex, we as men should think of our wives. The Song of Solomon goes into great detail about how we should treasure a woman’s anatomy. For instance:
Song of Solomon 1:2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth— For your love is better than wine.
Song of Solomon 4:1-5 Behold, you are fair, my love! Behold, you are fair! You have dove's eyes behind your veil. Your hair is like a flock of goats, Going down from Mount Gilead. (2) Your teeth are like a flock of shorn sheep Which have come up from the washing, Every one of which bears twins, And none is barren among them. (3) Your lips are like a strand of scarlet, And your mouth is lovely. Your temples behind your veil Are like a piece of pomegranate. (4) Your neck is like the tower of David, Built for an armory, On which hang a thousand bucklers, All shields of mighty men. (5) Your two breasts are like two fawns, Twins of a gazelle, Which feed among the lilies.
Song of Solomon 4:10-11 How fair is your love, My sister, my spouse! How much better than wine is your love, And the scent of your perfumes Than all spices! (11) Your lips, O my spouse, Drip as the honeycomb; Honey and milk are under your tongue; And the fragrance of your garments Is like the fragrance of Lebanon.
So it is not a sin to enjoy your wife. From what we see in the Song of Solomon the man and woman really enjoyed each other.
It should also be mentioned here that even in marriage sex can be used in the wrong way. Sex is a part of a healthy relationship not the main part or the most important part but a vital part nonetheless. Moreover sex is a part of intimacy between a man and a woman and not the totality of intimacy. Many times we try to use sex as a cheap substitute to actually talking or spending time with each other or we use sex in marriage as a manipulative tool to get our way. Paul warns in 1 Corinthians 7:3-5, “Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” It is very clear that in a marriage we are to enjoy sex and not deprive our partner except for fasting and prayer.
So from the word of God it is clear how sex is to be enjoyed. We live in a fallen world, which has a different idea when it comes to sex. What we need to realize is that if we go our own way sin will have an effect on our minds and hearts. Ask anyone who will be honest with you and they will admit that many of their problems in regard to trust or sex stems from their own past lifestyles. The “game” if you will affects the players as well as the ones getting “played”. If we continue go our own way, there is a hidden cost to be paid. Aside from unwanted pregnancies or HIV and other STD’s there is also a spiritual, emotional, and mental cost that may not be realized until it is too late. Again Paul exhorts us 1 Corinthians 6:15-20, “Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? Certainly not! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For "THE TWO," He says, "SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH." But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him. Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's.”
So, what I know from scripture is that sex is a gift from God and is intended to be between one man and one woman, to be enjoyed in a marriage. But, even in marriage there is a way to sin sexually without committing adultery. Lastly sex outside of marriage has hidden emotional, mental, and spiritual consequences, as well as physical.
Stay tuned for parts two and three of this posting.
KMJ
