Sex from the Biblical Perspective

WHAT IF -most of my natural inclination and perspectives about sex are misguided. What if - a lot of what I thought to be true and “right” is just wrong? What if many things I “know” are really deception and error. Do I really know, embrace and practice what God has said when it comes to sex? Do I view sex as commitment building or sex as a way of building a relationship or fostering a good relationship. Do I view sex as a sport?

What if we return to the Biblical perspective? Sex was intended to be between one man and one woman in the confines of a marriage. Sex is not how you introduce yourself to another person. Meaning the physical should not proceed the spiritual, mental, and emotional in getting to know a man or a woman. I am afraid that many today are deceived in this area. Our way of thinking has been tainted by worldly philosophy and contaminated by world system of lustful desires.

I want to examine sex from a biblical perspective under these three headings: What we know and understand from the biblical record regarding sex, what we should embrace, and what we should practice.

What I know and understand from scripture.

Man and woman were created perfect by God to be monogamous – one partner for life – and to be a family. However before Adam knew his wife, He knew his God. He knew his God loved him. He knew his God's laws and commandments. He had a relationship with his God prior to a relationship with his wife. He was complete in God, emotionally secure and spiritually aware of his creator. Then, the scriptures tell us that there was not a comparable helper to be found for Adam, thus the creation of Eve. Eve's creation is necessitated by two points: First, in order to fulfill the cultural mandate given in Genesis 1:28, they must be both male and female with the ability to procreate. Secondly, Adam is not able to serve and obey God properly without a corresponding, horizontal relationship. Eve was to be a partner, not a substitute for God or the things of God, to help Adam worship God fully. She was not created to be a sexual object, but rather a partner in the glorification of God through the carrying out of the cultural mandate.

This is very important because it illustrates the intent of God for both the man and woman. When we as men consider a woman, it should be with this understanding. Without this understanding one can be easily led away to all manner of perverted philosophies and doctrines. If we allow ourselves to venture off into fantasies that are in conflict with God's intent We are in sin. This does not mean sex is bad, but rather, it is gift to be enjoyed by two people in a marriage. When it comes to sex, we as men should think of our wives. The Song of Solomon goes into great detail about how we should treasure a woman’s anatomy. For instance:

Song of Solomon 1:2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth— For your love is better than wine.

Song of Solomon 4:1-5 Behold, you are fair, my love! Behold, you are fair! You have dove's eyes behind your veil. Your hair is like a flock of goats, Going down from Mount Gilead. (2) Your teeth are like a flock of shorn sheep Which have come up from the washing, Every one of which bears twins, And none is barren among them. (3) Your lips are like a strand of scarlet, And your mouth is lovely. Your temples behind your veil Are like a piece of pomegranate. (4) Your neck is like the tower of David, Built for an armory, On which hang a thousand bucklers, All shields of mighty men. (5) Your two breasts are like two fawns, Twins of a gazelle, Which feed among the lilies.

Song of Solomon 4:10-11 How fair is your love, My sister, my spouse! How much better than wine is your love, And the scent of your perfumes Than all spices! (11) Your lips, O my spouse, Drip as the honeycomb; Honey and milk are under your tongue; And the fragrance of your garments Is like the fragrance of Lebanon.

So it is not a sin to enjoy your wife. From what we see in the Song of Solomon the man and woman really enjoyed each other.

It should also be mentioned here that even in marriage sex can be used in the wrong way. Sex is a part of a healthy relationship not the main part or the most important part but a vital part nonetheless. Moreover sex is a part of intimacy between a man and a woman and not the totality of intimacy. Many times we try to use sex as a cheap substitute to actually talking or spending time with each other or we use sex in marriage as a manipulative tool to get our way. Paul warns in 1 Corinthians 7:3-5, “Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” It is very clear that in a marriage we are to enjoy sex and not deprive our partner except for fasting and prayer.

So from the word of God it is clear how sex is to be enjoyed. We live in a fallen world, which has a different idea when it comes to sex. What we need to realize is that if we go our own way sin will have an effect on our minds and hearts. Ask anyone who will be honest with you and they will admit that many of their problems in regard to trust or sex stems from their own past lifestyles. The “game” if you will affects the players as well as the ones getting “played”. If we continue go our own way, there is a hidden cost to be paid. Aside from unwanted pregnancies or HIV and other STD’s there is also a spiritual, emotional, and mental cost that may not be realized until it is too late. Again Paul exhorts us 1 Corinthians 6:15-20, “Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? Certainly not! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For "THE TWO," He says, "SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH." But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him. Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's.”

So, what I know from scripture is that sex is a gift from God and is intended to be between one man and one woman, to be enjoyed in a marriage. But, even in marriage there is a way to sin sexually without committing adultery. Lastly sex outside of marriage has hidden emotional, mental, and spiritual consequences, as well as physical.

Stay tuned for parts two and three of this posting.

KMJ

Facing Your Trials - James 1:2-4

I have never been one for “the don't worry be happy” motto. Neither am I one who believes that worrying profits anything. I have to admit, though, sometimes when my Christian friends tell me to “count it all joy”; I think to myself they have no idea what I am facing. Sometimes I feel like I just can’t take another, “hey just pray about it” or “you need to pray about that”. I feel like they just don’t understand the emotional weight I am under and they have no idea how many times I have prayed. But, now I realize that I was struggling with a bigger issue than the questions and comments from my friends and loved ones. The source of my frustrations was how to cope during the trial. So, I wondered, how should we (Christians) face difficult situations? In James 1:2-4, James exhorts us as Christians to count it all joy when we fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. I would like to share three things that have helped me face my trials and relieve my frustrations.

First, we see in this passage that we are to rejoice when we fall into various trials. James does not say count it all joy if, but when we fall into various trials. As children of God, it is very important that we understand trials and tribulations are inevitable. We have a tendency to think maybe we are being punished for doing something wrong or maybe we have fallen out of the will of God when troubles come into our lives. Sometimes we to o solve our problems in the typical worldly way, blame someone, get angry and respond carnally, instead of spiritually. But, it is during these times of trouble that God's word tells us to rejoice; hold tight to our faith and trust God even when we do not understand what he is doing. The Saints of old were able rejoice in times of trouble because they trusted God all the time, as we should. For encourage in this very thing read Hebrews 11 and observed that by faith the Saint of old overcame many obstacles. My friend do you trust God like this? Can you REJOICE in trials as well as triumphs? Well, stay tuned and you will find, like I did, that this is an issue of faith and understanding.

Secondly, this passage teaches that these trials or the trying of our faith produces patience. The word trial has the meaning of putting someone to the test in order to discover their nature. These tests reveal where we need help, revealing the weaker aspects of our personality, especially the ones we try to ignore. Also these trials reveal where we need to be closer to God. We must learn to realize that God brings such tests to prove the strength and quality of our faith with the purpose of strengthening it. Paul teaches us in Romans 5:3-5, to rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. My friends God is at work in us at all times, but especially in time of trouble. So, in times of trouble, KNOW that He is working to purify and sanctify us trough these trials.

Lastly, James teaches us in verse 4 of chapter 1 to allow patience to have its perfect work, that we may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. Simply put, trust GOD. In times of trials UNDERSTAND that this trouble did not come to destroy but to BUILD something in you by the grace of God. God through trials make us perfect and complete, lacking nothing. So, knowing this, our reaction to troubles should not be to ‘lay down our religion’, but rather to cling to the cross of Jesus. Do you see how radically different this is from how the world reacts to problems. Why? Because we know that through the hurt and the tears, God loves us and sees us in our time of trouble and is working to make us perfect. We must hold and walk by faith and not by sight.

I hope this helps someone that maybe enduring hardship on the job, at home or even in the church. Remember our response to trouble is not despair but joy. Know that this testing of our faith produces patience and through this testing we become perfect and complete, lacking nothing. Remember the words of a popular song, even when we can't track God we should still trust HIM. Count it all Joy.

Put Your Hand to the Plow

Put Your Hands to the Plow and Don't Look Back
Luke 9:57-62

Lately, I have noticed how I sometimes allow distractions to hinder me from what God has called me to do. I am embarrassed to say that there are even periods of time when I have put God’s calling on hold. After talking to other people of God who share the same concerns, I felt compelled to express some thoughts that I hope will encourage the Saints. Please refer to Luke 9: 57-62. In this passage someone says to Jesus as He journeys, “Lord, I will follow You wherever you go”. Jesus replies, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.” Another says he can follow, but not until after he buries his father. And still another says to Jesus that he will follow Jesus but he must first go bid farewell to his family. Then Jesus spoke to him saying, “No one, having put his hand to the plow and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.” At first glance Jesus' responses to these reasonable requests seem harsh. But that is just the point, to emphasize the cost of discipleship. Our attention, commitment, and allegiance to Christ should make everything else in our life secondary. HE is first! My friend, do you think of Christ and his calling in this manner or have you misplaced your priorities? The demands of the kingdom override all earthly loyalties. Let me share with you three things that will help us keep our lives focused on Christ and kingdom work.

Remember who you are
We know from 2 Corinthians 5 that when we are saved we are made new; old things have passed away, and behold all things are new. You are now a new creation of the Most Holy God; a “peculiar people”, not of the world. Therefore we don’t think as the world nor should we conduct ourselves as the world does. God has a plan for your life and work for you to do. If you are saved you are expected to contribute to the kingdom as God has gifted you, which is your primary purpose after redemption. Not all of us will be in the spot light but all of us have a job to do. Saints remember who you are and who bought you by his blood on the cross.

Learn to actively ignore things that are negative
These are things that bring no value to our lives and things that can wait. This may sound strange to some but this is very important. Because of our limitations and time constraints, there is only so much that we can get done in a day, so we must choose how we spend out time. We must learn to say “no” to some things and some people, so that we don’t get to the end our lives only to find that we did everything except what God called us to do. Remember, saying “no” to worldly things means saying yes to God. We should not put things or people off forever, but prioritize our lives in an effort to please our Father God. In Ecclesiastes 3, we learn from King Solomon that everything has a season.

But if you find yourself struggling with a to-do list a mile long, you can find great encouragement from Paul in Philippians 4:6-9, where he exhorts to be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving let our requests be made known to God. We should pray and give our lives over to God to govern and organize. If you are feeling overwhelmed today, I encourage you to pray and be filled with the peace of God. Additionally Paul, teaches us not to dwell on negative things but whatever things are true, noble, just, lovely, and if there is anything praiseworthy meditate on these things. How much time have we wasted focusing on the wrong things while God's work is being left undone? We must learn to put off the things that can wait to get done what needs to be done now.

Simply focus
Singleness of mind - the cost of discipleship. Jesus says that, “No one, having put his hand to the plow and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.” In other words we must lay down our lives for God. Put down our agenda in order to do the work he has called us to do. It is no longer about us and what we want, but what HE wants. When was the last time you asked God what He wanted from you, from your life? Jesus lets this man know that he can't look back and neither can we. We can't look back! We can't look back to past mistakes or successes; we must keep plowing. We must stay focused on the task at hand whatever God has called you to do, remembering who we are and ignoring the distractions. Saints, it is too easy to lose your way and fall into a worldly routine. Never underestimate Satan or his subtle schemes to get you to sin and stray away from God.

We must stay prayerful and close to the cross.